May 2012
34 posts
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I stare at you for a second and then look away. I’m not having fun anymore. I’m not amused. This isn’t fun. I’m so…tired. I’m so fucking exhausted. I’ve got a huge dose of cocaine or whatever the hell it is in my system and I am so tired. I shouldn’t sleep, I know that. But gosh, what harm could it do, really…I’m so tired…
“Kris,...
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Anonymous asked: nice blog but i doubt you can beat my high score at tumblrtreats(.)com ;)
“I’m…pretty sure it’s cocaine,” I murmur to you. Your eyes widen slightly. “Like, eighty, no…yeah, I’m about ninety-five percent sure it’s cocaine…”
“How could you only be-”
“He had a little baggy with the stuff,” I hold up my hands apart to demonstrate the size of the bag. “I don’t know, Chris. It was loud in the club. I’m pretty sure he...
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I can feel my blood still running down my face. I can see the blood pooling around my hands on the floor. I vaguely think about how I’ll need stitches. I should probably get up, probably start cleaning myself up. But I can’t move. I’m just lying there, bleeding. It’s not fatal, of course, I think to myself. I mean, if I just stay here for a few weeks, the infection will...
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“So beautiful,” You murmur, almost as an afterthought, as you kiss my jaw and then my shoulder. My blinking is slow, my breathing deep. I glance down, watching my chest rise and fall and I don’t even feel disgusted at the sight of it. How magnificent. I turn towards you slightly, raising my hand to run the back of my knuckles down your cheek and neck. This moment is special. It’s special and I...
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I lift my legs, wrapping them around your waist. You stammer for a second.
“Shouldn’t I, er, grab-?” You ask, glancing off to the side.
“Nope,” I respond. “I can’t get pregnant. I’m on little pills that prevent that.”
And thank God for it. I already hate my body enough. But I pull my thoughts away from that, trying to focus on you again. I don’t want to snap...
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“Then do it faster,” I mumble, my hands on your shoulders and kissing at the corner of your mouth. “I want you, right now.”
I can feel you smile against my lips and you finish kicking off your pants and I tangle my legs in yours, moving a hand down to grip at your hipbone. God, you’re so…just so much. You’re muscle and skin and warmth and it is driving me crazier than...
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I rake my fingers down your chest, relishing the way you shudder beneath me. I groan into your mouth as your squeeze around me grows painfully tight, but I live for that kind of pain. There’s bad pain, the kind of pain one feels when they take a hit too fast or maybe the kind they feel when someone pushes your head into a carseat cushion as you’re mounted from behind. But...
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The relief is pouring through my entire body, running through my veins and heating me up. I’m practically singing with it.
I kiss you back with fervor, once more reaching up and tangling my hands in your hair. I feel like I’m falling into you; your acceptance, your caring, your kindness. There’s nothing that could drag me away from you now. Nothing that could break this...
I stare up at the ceiling, shaking my head slightly. In fact, I’m shaking all over, but not for the reason I was before. There is only one other person at this school who knows me for what I am and we don’t exactly play well together. But I’m stuck in this hazy kind of mood, like someone put a fog in my eyes. Maybe it’ll all be okay…
I scoot away from you a bit, and I hold my breath as I tug off...
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Oh, boy.
Couldn’t tell you what it’s about. I mean, I don’t think anyone can really explain their hotspots. But mine is really baffling. I’m so used to being touched by people that I’ve kind of build up an immunity to the sensation. But no one ever touches my neck. I can count on one hand—hell, three fingers—the number of people that have touched my neck in the way you’re doing now. Yourself...
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When I next wake up, the room is full of the brightest light. My internal clock is telling me that it’s, like, noon, but it could be earlier than that or even later. I still have my arms wrapped tightly around you, but I can tell from your breathing that you’ve been awake for some time. I’m scared to give any signal that I’ve woken up, but the thought of just lying here...
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I had nightmares. I remember waking up in the middle of the night, in a panic, feeling cold and sweaty and scared. Something moved against my leg and I flinched, kicking out. As my eyes adjusted to the light, I saw the ginger cat giving me a dirty look as it moved away from me. Sleepily, I looked around and saw you. You were passed out, your head slumped against your shoulder. You were still...
I nod a little, walking to the bathroom and shutting the door behind me.
It takes something like ten minutes to get out of my binder. I want to sleep in it, because I’m scared of you finding out, but I’ve already worn it for over eight hours and that probably isn’t very good for me. I pull on the soft shirt, holding it to my face and breathing in the smell of it for a few...
I turn my head slightly, leaning into your touch. Part of me wants to tell you to fuck off, that you can’t tell me what to do. But you asked me so nicely and you’ve treated me so nicely. More than that, I don’t want to leave at all, not really.
“Okay, fine.” I say. “Just…just stay next to me, though. At least until I fall asleep.”
I glance up at you and then look down...
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I cling to you, feeling like my heart is hammering in my chest. I bury my face in your shoulder, afraid I’m going to cry from the high emotions I’m currently feeling. That would be fucking mortifying. I breathe you in, trying to relax, but my heart won’t stop beating furiously against my bones.
Though the way you hold me is comforting, I feel incredibly lost. I’m not...
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Fun fact: Ecstasy heightens all of your sense, especially euphoria. It can also make you feel closer to other people. To me, it makes all of my highs really high.
It also makes this moment feel like you just reached up and slapped me across the face really really hard.
I don’t get attached. That’s not something I do. I don’t kiss people, either. Kissing is a stupid sign of...
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I don’t know who started it. I don’t know if I kissed you first or if you kissed me. All I know is that I’ve got my arms around your shoulders and I feel your hands on my back and I’m pulling you on top of me, wanting to press myself tightly against you and feel you all around me.
Everything about you is rough and I love the feel of your skin against mine and the...
OOC:
I’M SORRY I’M SORRY I HAVE TO GO TO SLEEP BUT I PROMISE I’LL BE ON TOMORROW OKAY!?!??!?
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“Yeah, well.” If my face flushes, it’s just due to the drugs. “Honestly, who the fuck has time to come up with a paper for Gardening. Pretty confident that you’re actually the antichrist.”
I lean over, setting the empty cup on the coffee table and then settle back in on the sofa, fidgeting with the bandages that wrap around my hands. I know better than to take them off, but my...
sassy-gay-oncologist:
what is skrillex’s favorite restaurant?
sub-wub-wub-wub-way
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A part of me wants to start laughing really hard. I want to laugh and scream and throw myself against a wall and scream, “Yes, I am the biggest tart in the school!!” I’ve finally shocked you and you’re showing it and god if it doesn’t feel intensely satisfying.
But then another part of me wants to cry and scream and throw myself against a wall and scream, “I’m a fucking...
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actualkawaiibal:
i’m not sure whether to be flattered or offended for not being called a moist poop
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I literally know nothing about tea. I tell people, ‘Get me a cup of tea.’ and they bring me whatever. It’s lead to some pretty interesting tastes. So pretty fucking disgusting ones, too.
“I don’t care. Surprise me,” I say. After about something like ten minutes, you come back in, handing me a porcelain mug and pushing my feet to the floor, clearing a space for you on the...
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I can see just how badly my hand is shaking when I raise my hand to push my hair out of my face. Normally, whenever I say something like that to a teacher, they become furious, angrily telling me to get out of their sight. Not once has a teacher suggested we ‘sit down’ and ‘talk this out like adults’. It’s a bit jarring. I expected the opposite. Maybe having him...